It’s been a while but finally posting. I live in rural Alberta and was lucky enough to be selected by a midwifery centre at 19 weeks along with my first baby. There were no midwives closer than 3 hours from where I live. So I started doctoring in my small town and couldn’t help but worry about the experience I would have. Being a nurse who worked at the time in labor and delivery in a small town hospital, I knew what that experience looked like and I knew it wasn’t for me if I could help it.

I booked an Airbnb for a week before and a week after my due date (Jan 23, 2019) and the owner knew I was planning on having a home birth. She said she would give me an extra few days beyond that if needed and could be flexible. The week before, and the week after my due date passed and I messaged the owner and said we would need more time. She gave us two days and said she had booked other people so we had to be out by then. I bathed a lot, walked a lot, did so many stairs, ate endless amounts of pineapple, spicy food, used essential oils, and finally out of desperation the day before we had to be out of the Airbnb I went and got acupuncture and had my midwife do a stretch and sweep in a last ditch effort to bring on labor. The stretch and sweep was not that uncomfortable and I was told I was 2cm and stretchy. But I knew as a nurse that didn’t mean anything so I didn’t get my hopes up. I thought I was going to be pregnant forever.

The night after acupuncture at 2am Feb 1st (9 days past due date) I had a contraction. And then 2 mins later another one. And they continued like that and I knew it was finally happening. I had my partner(J) and my Mom staying with me and we were so excited. I went in the tub around 4am, the contractions were slowly getting stronger but easy to breath through. I remember closing my eyes and feeling incredibly comfortable letting labor come. For the next 3 and a half hours I sat on my yoga ball, bathed, and stood around leaning as the contractions grew stronger. Knowing that we had to leave the Airbnb by 11am my Mom booked us a hotel from the list of recommended places given to us by my midwife. We called my midwife at 6 and she said she would meet us at the hotel when we got there. So we packed up (when I say we, I mean J and my Mom frantically loaded the car with the crazy amount of stuff we had brought) and drove the 30 mins across the city to the hotel where we got a suite with a bedroom and a big bathroom with a huge tub.

At 8:30am my midwife came and did vital signs, listened to babes heart rate and asked how I was coping. I wasn’t talking through contractions anymore I was very focused. I moved through each one, rocking, swaying, and sometimes making humming noises which seriously helped. She said it’s still early and she will come back later when things intensify. My memory gets a bit foggy here on timing but I think she came back around 1 or 2pm, after J text her and said things had definitely intensified. My humming turned into low moans and my contractions were lasting 90 seconds or so. In between them I drank coconut water, tried to sleep, relax, or change positions. Upright positions were the most comfortable for me, I stood, or sat on the ball pretty much the entire time. J would rub and put pressure on my back and just be there not saying anything and that was the best support. For all the partners out there worried how to help, my advice is just be there, be present, don’t feel like you need to say anything, you can just be quietly there offering sips of fluids and a steady hand.

My midwife stayed from that point on checking babes heart rate and switching J out for breaks on back rubs. My low moans started to end in grunts around 5pm and my midwife asked if I felt like I was pushing at the end of contractions. I said maybe, I honestly didn’t know I was just riding the waves. I was starting to feel like I maybe wanted to push but my nurse brain kicked in all of the sudden and I felt like I wanted to know how dilated I was. So I asked her to check. I was 7-8cm with bulging membranes (I’d like to add here that being checked wasn’t at all uncomfortable). She suggested I try to labor a few contractions on the toilet since that was the most intense place for me we noticed. Every time I had to pee and was sitting on the toilet the rushes were so strong I wanted to stand up right away. So I did for two and then the biggest gush and relief came, my water broke. After I stood up I just knew it was going to be soon that my sweet baby would arrive. I showered and bathed and the contractions got extremely intense, the pressure with each rush grew and I was pushing with each contraction without trying, it was just happening. I wouldn’t describe this as pain, it was just an intense pressure and urge to bear down. My midwife told me to push if I wanted to and I did. I started to feel a sharp pain in front of my pubic bone when I pushed and my midwife wondered if maybe I had a lip on my cervix that still needed to dilate. She asked if she could check and I agreed, I was still in the tub and she said she could feel a little one and asked me to wait for a contraction and she would try to push it passed the baby’s head. She did without trouble and after that I continued to push with contractions for about an hour and fifteen minutes. I got out of the tub during pushing because babes heart rate went up from baseline from 150 to 165/170 and my midwife wanted me to try to change positions. I squatted at the bedside for a bit but got tired of that so I laid down on the bed on my side and held my leg by my knee and pushed with all my might. I don’t remember any of this being painful, it was relieving to push with contractions and actually do something other than just ride the waves and breath. Babes heart rate went back to normal baseline and started to crown. I could feel pins and needles and stretching happening down there. My midwife encouraged me to just breath through contractions and let babe come slowly. She placed warm clothes and I tried my best not to push too hard. Babes head was out and I was waiting for the next contraction which took a couple minutes, I remember it being a nice break. We waited patiently for the next one and I pushed hard but nothing seemed to happen. I tried again and nothing. My midwife instructed me to bring both my knees up by my ears and push and she pulled and the shoulders and body came out. My beautiful baby was rushed up to my chest at 8:06pm after 20 hours of labor.

J and I were in pure bliss. I looked down and announced it was a boy. He stayed on my chest for over an hour and latched onto both breasts. When the cord was no longer pulsing (about 15 mins) the midwife tied it with bamboo string and J cut it. I passed our sweet boy to J and he snuggled him skin to skin while I delivered the placenta in a couple pushes (almost 30 mins after he was born). I did not receive any oxytocin to speed this process as there was no significant bleeding which is what my midwife had suggested. I was checked for any tears and I had two small ones that would heal on their own. After, our babe was weighed and looked over by the midwife. 9 lbs, 21.5 inches long, and perfectly healthy. He received Vitamin K injection and no eye antibiotic (at the advice of my midwife).

I was helped into a nice warm shower to rinse off. Then tucked into bed with J and our boy and we just chatted about how amazing this whole experience had been and how lucky we are.

To all of the nervous Moms out there, don’t ever give up hope that you will have the birth experience you want. Don’t ever believe for a second you can’t do it because our bodies are capable of amazing things. And you can handle what your body throws at you because it IS you. This is coming from a nurse who has seen what we all fear as birthing women, and I overcame my fear and trusted myself and my care provider. You can too :)