Was I raped ?

Was I raped? He is 18 and I am 15. He said he was 17 tho. He said he wanted to visit me and bring me food. He also said I should suck his dick...

I never said I would

I got in the car with him. I asked for the food...

But he started making out with me instantly

He pulled his pants down

I don’t exactly recall what happened

But if I’m not wrong he said “Suck it”

So I did but I didn’t want to

But I still did... He then push me to the side

And said “Pants off”

I said “What?”

And he said “Pants off!”

I rolled my eyes but I did what he said

He started fucking me. I didn’t enjoy it at all.

Not one single bit

I felt like a toy

I couldn’t move

I don’t know why

It took me back to that Hannah Baker and Bryce scene. Which is of course not a good sign.

He then started fucking my ass. Before all this happened (maybe a few weeks or days before) he asked me if I would ever considered anal sex

I said no

I think earlier that same day he asked me again

I specifically said no and why

And yet he fucked my ass that night

It was dreadful. He told me to say “Nut in my ass”

I didn’t want to. He kept asking me to say it so I did. Which is where I guess I gave consent?

He nutted inside of me. It was so sickening and unpleasant. I just despise talking about it.

I didn’t want to do it that way

I didn’t want to do it that day

I didn’t want to do it in that place

I wanted to just eat what he got me

I wanted to have an actual conversation with him... But that didn’t happen. I hate going back to that night. Never admitted I didn’t have a good time with anyone but to 2 people (Which is why I don’t think people would believe what I’m saying is true now). 1st person I told said it was rape so I believed it but then the 2nd person I told didn’t pay much attention to it. So maybe it wasn’t rape.

But if it was...

Then what? What would happen? I’ld be a victim? What do I get out of that?

I don’t want to talk to an adult about it

I don’t want to talk to my family about it

So knowing the answer to my question won’t answer much... I’ll just feel sorry for myself

And so will other people. And i don’t want that at all. What do you think ladies? I know this is really serious but I do not want it to get out of this app and I want to stay anonymous. I just want opinions.