Need to vent

My husband only has sex with me when he wants it.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve tried to have sex and he’s said yes.

But I can walk into the door from work and he drop his pants and I’d go for it even if I’m exhausted.

But every time I try, I get told no.

And I may be a huge cry baby but I broke down today.

I’m struggling so hard with my body. My weight has been going up.

I met him two years ago and I was 140 and I’m hitting 160 now and I can’t even take a picture of myself. So when I do try and get intimate it takes a lot for me to do so.

And being told no every time gets to you. I only have sex when he’s in the mood.

And I tried to explain that and he told me I’m the problem because I get so upset when told no.

Well I’m sorry but after the 1000th no I get upset. I’m feeling unwanted. Or used.

I don’t even want to talk to him rn because he just doesn’t understand. I seriously just want to hide under a shell not because he keeps telling me no to intimate time but because I’m struggling so hard with myself and I just want to feel happy again.