Would-be due date

Today would have been my due date for the baby I lost on Valentine's Day-- I was 9 weeks. I'm so thankful for the little girl growing inside of me now, but I still mourn for the little one I lost. But I couldn't have both-- it wouldn't be possible for this life without the loss of the other. God has chosen this little one to be a part of our family instead and He is good, even when we can't understand.

I know this because I have been here before. I lost my pregnancy #3 early on. pregnancy #4 came three months later. I was still bitter about my loss, continuously thinking how far along I "should" be. Once I met my beautiful boy and learned what a joy he is, how happy he is, how fortunate we are to have him in our family-- I realized God's plans are better than mine. And I felt embarrassed at how bitter I had been towards God.

Although I mourn for the two babies I've lost, I know this rainbow baby has a purpose and place in our family.

"Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:16