Good comeback for snarky comments?

Question

What are some of your best comebacks to people who have said things that pissed you off or you were just tired of hearing?  (Comments like: "You're so big!", "Get your sleep now!!" Etc.)

Answer

I have an extremely rude coworker. Ever since I got pregnant she's had something to say about everything.

It's a small office, no break room so I eat my lunch at my desk. For a week straight she had something to say about what ever it was I was eating. One day I just looked her dead in the eye and asked if i should no longer eat? She's not said anything since. I call that a win.

Answer

Absolutely hate it when I'm around a baby or a toddler and the mom says "this is what you have to look forward to" it something along those lines.

There was a one year old here the other day and was banging on my keyboard and broke it. The mom said what I hate the most lol " are you ready for this?" omg i didn't have a good comback but I was thinking I would never watch and let my baby bang on someone else's things. Grrrr

Answer

I am a first time mum yes, but I have grown up around babies, my parents fostering babies, being the oldest of many cousins, me being 23 and the youngest 12 months old, and I have people who have had one child and no
Other dealings with little ones saying "you better get the practice in"

I responded ..
"I've probably changed more nappies, in my life time than most people I know" 😂

Answer

I get aggravated when someone points to their child and say "are you ready for this" ...last time someone said that to me.. I was already having a bad day... I told them they were a waste of oxygen. And what was their purpose in life... I regret it now but I was not in the mood that day.

Answer

I had someone tell me today, you sure you're not carrying twins? I just said, "well that's just rude!" She said, "no, mean...I cut her off and said, "you pretty much just called me fat". And walked away. She got me on a day where I was super moody. Still am.

Answer

I get very snappy when someone comments about my size. I am 20 weeks and looking you wouldn't really know. 
I keep getting, are you sure your pregnant?(come on now, really) 
Or have you seen your dr yet.
is the baby healthy or is it ok?
My recent come back to family anyway is something along the lines of just because you look more pregnant then me....
I don't mean it in a bad way but it really really irritates me. 
My mom wonders why I have told her not to tell anyone I am pregnant 😏

Answer

One of my friends had a baby almost 3 months ago just before i found out i was pregnant. Every time we are around them an the baby starts crying she always says "are you ready for this?" or when shes having a bad day or cranky baby its always the same.. Its like jesus! I know whats to come and im gonna enjoy it:)

Answer

When commenting on size I sarcastically thank them for their medical opinion. I regularly get "You're so small" and "You're so big" on the same day!

The nicest thing I've heard is "What a lovely bump!" I'm thinking I might start saying to other nay sayers how proud and blessed I feel to have it. One of the best ways to respond is always with a huge amount of happiness that shames their rudeness!

Good comeback for snarky comments?

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