Calling him stepdad?

Question

I’m 25 years old and my mom met her fiancé 3 years ago. She is upset I don’t want to call him my stepdad, or introduce him as my stepdad when they marry. I just think it’s weird and would say “this is my mom and her husband Ron”
She thinks that’s so disrespectful and mean. Am I wrong? I just think that’s something a child does, somebody growing up with him. But I’m married and have my own house and I just think that’s odd. 
He’s a great guy and they’re great together, I like him but I’m not comfortable saying that. Or this past Father’s Day, she’s offended I’m uncomfortable wishing him a Happy Father’s Day. Opinions? How can I go about explaining this to her? She’s not accepting of my answer.

Answer

You’re an adult. He’s not raising you or anything... soooo, I don’t see this issue she has.

Answer

My parents divorced when I was around your age. They both remarried last year and I do not refer to their spouses as my stepparents or to their children as my step-siblings. I just say "my dad's wife" or "my mom's husband's son". 
Gets a little confusing I guess, but they aren't doing any parenting of me lol.

Answer

I'm with you. I think it would be weird for you to call him stepdad as an adult. He's not your stepdad because he's not raising you nor has he raised you. You call him what you're comfortable with.

Answer

Bit of a different situation here. I got divorced before my parents did. Mine was final in 2013, theirs was final in 2014. Ma hasn't dated anyone really. Just a few "friends" here and there. My dad has been with a few different ladies. One of which gave birth to my sister. I never called her step mom. In fact I dont even speak to her. My sister is about to be 5. I see her all the time though. Dad basically has full custody of her. Now he's with someone who is younger than his two oldest kids (me being the oldest) he plans to marry her. She has a kiddo of her own and they just had a baby about a month ago. When I speak to them, she's mom. Even though she's younger than me. When I talk to others she's my bonus mom (because I have a mom whom everyone knows and I have a mother in law whom everyone knows. The bonus mom reference is just to avoid confusion on their part) but that was my choice. I choose to involve her and call her mom. Even though I'm 29 and have a child of my own and don't really need mothering anymore 😂 she's been and is going to be a huge part of my life. It just felt right. Likewise my step sibling and my 2 half siblings are referred to as just my siblings. Same as my 2 full siblings. We're all family in the end. Blended and weird, but family. And just before anyone freaks out that my dad is like in his 50s or 60s... not quite yet. He's only 18 years older than me. 
TLDR: in the end it's up to you.

Answer

I agree with you. I’m 33 and my mom is on her 5th husband, 4 of which have been in my lifetime. 🙄 She got remarried last year, and I told her that her new husband is just “Tom.” I’m not calling him anything else. I’m a grown ass adult with my own family, and I don’t need nor want any more “parents.” I had to lay this out ahead of time, bc my mom forced me to call my previous step father (who I mostly grew up with) “dad,” and I hated it. I have a father, and hes involved in my life, but my mom wanted to act like he didn’t exist. She wanted this magical, imaginary new happy family to suddenly appear. As an adult, I still resent her for it. 
So no, I think “my moms husband” or something similar is totally normal. Your mom will get over it.

Answer

Nope. I wouldn’t call him a step dad. His name is Ron. She should understand that he hasn’t done any parenting and that you Probly don’t have that close of a connection

Answer

I don’t call him my stepdad because he didn’t parent me, but he is a grandfather to my kids so they call him grandpa.

Answer

Thank you everybody!! My older sister 27, said she’s going to call him StepDad (she’s a suck up, anything to go rebel against me) so I was really starting to think something was wrong with me! Glad to hear similar stories THANK YOU so much! I feel way more confident now

Calling him stepdad?

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