I can't take it! (Just venting)

This is it! I can't take it any more. I feel like waiting on a period or a positive test is pointless! I just can't do it no more. I'm done. Neither Is Goin To happen Right now. So I'm done. I am to inpatient to be waiting every day for something idk when it's even go a show! So maybe if I move on and forget everything it will get easier. But it's hard cuz every since last sat my mother said that my 9 year old brother is her future. He was he heart. So I had to protect him with my all. She was drunk of course. But I'm 24 I have been on my own with my own family since I was 17! I'm her oldest. Her only daughter and she tell me tht!! Multiple times tht day! So when I finaly say something it's always oh u don't get it. Or some bs like tht. She is all I have ever had and now. I feel lost and hurt. Mostly disapointed. So maybe I'm focusing all tht into this baby. But as I told her I'm done. I understand, I finaly get it now. Everything fall into place now. So being done with tht. Work better watch out! I couldn't possiably clean my house any more lol. So here I come 70 or more hours! Maybe it helps ease the pain and suffering of waiting and waiting. And waiting. Oh and buying test for nothin lol. Sorry had to vent... I'm ok now😇😊😫