Can you guys tell me if I’m wrong or right ?

Question

Good Morning Ladies, 
So I got into a slight argument with my husband about money! Ok here goes ...my husband promised his cousin that he would lend him $1000 after he promised he comes and speaks to me, I told him NO because I just got pregnant and we just purchased a car ! We put down $10k for the car I have money coming in but I want to purchase a few thing kitchen table a chest freezer and a kitchen island . So he stated that his cousin helped him out in the past when he was in the hospital only one that would take his mom blah blah! I don’t want to sound cold but he just got here from his country owes money needs to pay he is the only one working etc! I told my husband I can get them clothes get the kid in school which I did purchased clothes for all 3 , and went to the supermarket that is all I can do! So my husband states he promised! Lol I really don’t care I have my own house to deal with, pregnant and I told him that No is my last answer ! 2 days now he hardly speaks to me and says I’m wrong! Am I being wrong or selfish?

Answer

If it's your husbands money (not yours) that he wants to lend to his family, then yeah.... hes worked for that he should have a say in what he wants to do / who he wants to support with it / loan it to 🤷‍♀️

Answer

I personally think you’re being selfish. You clearly have the money to help his family and won’t be hurting after.... you don’t want to lend it just because you want more, and nicer things..... that’s not right in my opinion. Id give my last $5 to a stranger if they truly needed it, and you won’t lend money that won’t hurt you either way?

Answer

If his family needs help and he has the means to help, then he should lend the money. He works for it, so he has a say in whats done with it, and it sounds like you're obviously financially stable. I pray that you never come into financial hardships and have to ask (and be denied) help from your family..

Answer

Ladies I’m not selfish at all! Like I mentioned I helped them all ways possible! I can’t give them because I know it won’t be a loan there is no way they are going to be able to pay me back any time soon! They literally arrived a month ago he asked my husbands brother for money and is missing $1000 I know it’s to pay a bill in there country, but I just can’t ! I will be putting my bills behind and giving up on things I need to help someone out ! And it took me a very long time to save money to put a good chunk of a down payment on this car. I’m pregnant and no insurance I have to pay for doctor bills etc! My husband said he would pay our insurance for 5 months, he can’t afford it he gets $400 week (because my brother in law is already taking his money from his pay!) that leaves him with $1600 $950he pays rent that leaves him $650 out of that $150 is phone bills and they need to eat 3 mouths to feed! Where is he going to get the money to pay back??

Answer

You're absolutely wrong. You don't need a new kitchen table and chairs, you don't need a new freezer, you can live without those things. His cousin is in fire straights and needs help. It was probably hard enough for him to even ask. Why are you acting like you're the boss and your husband is your employee? In a marriage you discuss things and compromise, you don't just say "no, deal with it because what I want is more important than what you want."
I see you commenting and arguing with people giving you answers. That tells me you aren't really asking for advice, you just want to be right. Smdh

Answer

Yes u are wrong

Answer

I think he should lend him some money- but! 
He should ask what he needs it for and offer to pay for/purchase those items himself. Pay rent, get him grocery gift cards etc.
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I disagree with others here in that just because you have the money - doesn’t mean you should feel BAD about wanting to improve the quality of your life with it since a family member is struggling.
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No. You have every right to do with your money as you please, since you and your husband have earned it with your own hard work-  and you and your husband pay taxes on every dollar you bring in. So if you loaned him $1000 in cash, not only will you never see that thousand dollars again, but the government will still tax you for that $1000 worth of income anyway. 
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So if you give them $1000, you’re actually losing $1300. That’s why I suggest, if he really needs the help, your husband should write his rent check for him, purchase the groceries, pay whatever needs to be paid etc. with your own checking account or anything that can be traced back to you to show a record.
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I would also like to point out that you can deduct home improvements on your taxes. But you cannot deduct loaning a family member $1000.
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But like I said, if you guys can’t help him then I would definitely help him. I have helped my brother before and I would do it again. But as close as we are, I would never just hand him cash. And it’s not because I don’t trust him or think he’s going to spend it frivolously. It’s because of my own financial security and tax purposes. And hes smart enough to know that too.

Can you guys tell me if I’m wrong or right ?

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