Came up in a conversation...

So my mother has been abusive my whole life, I’m now 20. She’s always yelling and shit about how I look fat and I can’t get a man because of that. So whatever, she’s like on your wedding day me and your father will walk you down the aisle and I said I’d rather be dead. Because you’ve been nothing but an abuser. She’s keeps saying over and over if you do get married, he’ll leave regardless. I don’t understand how god made her a mother of 3. She’s mean and abusive in every way. I wouldn’t never abuse or hurt my kids. It’ll also came up in conversation how if I were to have kids, I’d rather pay someone like a babysitter than ever leave them with her. I don’t trust her at all. Am I right or is she?