I’m in love, but it means nothing

I’m in love with my best friend. I know I’m “too young” to say that; but I know i love her and I have for three years now. Since the day we met, it started as a crush and ever since that first year there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. She makes me happy, she’s my everything. I would’ve killed myself by now if it wasn’t for her. Today we left the football game early and laid in a field together and she took my hand and held it and we talked about what we feared and loved, she took my hand I was souring. I even said “I think I still have a crush on you” and so she knows. But all of this means nothing. Because she’s straight, and I’m gay. And I probably just ruined everything by telling her. There’s nothing I can do, I know it sounds lame, but if she leaves, I really won’t have anything. Oh and I forgot to mention, I AM SUCH A DICK, I totally got too caught up in the moment and forget she had a BOYFRIEND when I said I liked her. I feel so bad.