Should I find a new doctor?

I have been going to the same OB/GYN for 8 years. I had no complaints about their care until this pregnancy. They even handled my sexual assault with grace and warm bedside manner. However the communication, organization and support from their practice during my first pregnancy has been questionable.

First, they forgot to add my first Prenatal Appointment to the calendar. I received the package of paperwork in the mail 10 days before with the date listed on the front. When I went to the appointment they explained that they had lost my appointment but would “squeeze me in” between two other patients. The appointment felt rushed and I was overwhelmed. I mentioned I had had some spotting for a few days and they said it was normal. That was September 9. I scheduled my next appointment for 3 weeks from that day, September 24.

Next I went for an ultrasound as they had requested. The US was Monday 9/15 and I was supposed to be 8 weeks then. The Us showed that I was only measuring at 5 weeks and the tech said they would put a request in to have the doctor contact me after reviewing the results. I was crushed by the news but trying to keep hope. I was still spotting dark brown and in my gut knew something was wrong. I awaited a call from the doctor; Tuesday and Wednesday passed with no call from the office so on Thursday I called and spoke with a nurse. I explained the US results and the spotting she said that the Doctor had looked at my scans and they seemed normal for 5 weeks. I abandoned that call, crying and upset with no answer other than to wait for my next appointment.

Friday the doctor called and with my explanation of the spotting agreed to order a quantitative HCG. I had a blood draw Friday and then again on Monday. Medstar has a website which syncs to Apple Health, I received an update each time the doctor put notes in my chart or test results came. Tuesday morning I received the second QHCG and it had only gone up from 2881 to2910.

Tuesday my husband and I went to the appointment. The doctor I met with wasn’t the doctor I had been seeing and when she came in she began by saying that since I was 11 weeks we would try to hear the heartbeat on a Doppler and do a vaginal exam. I began crying, knowing that wouldn’t be the case...she hadn’t even read my chart. I brought her up to speed and then she took a minute to read through the notes. She explained that I was likely having a missed miscarriage and went over options. She put in orders for me to get another ultrasound and confirm there was no growth. She told me to go on Thursday if possible and to call if I hadn’t heard from anyone by Friday morning.

Thursday the 26th I got my second US. The tech explained everything she saw and didn’t see. Then said she would put a stat on my report so the doctor would be sure to review and respond quickly.

Thursday evening passed with no call. Friday morning first thing I called the office and asked to speak with the doctor. The nurse said she would communicate my message. I never received a call from them.

I have no signs of natural miscarriage, I’m barely spotting and my cervix is closed. I have no cramps but I have known for two weeks that my baby did not grow, that I carry an empty sac within my womb and my heart hurts more than I have ever experienced.

I don’t know if the anger I am feeling is justified or if it is misplaced grief. This is my first pregnancy and the only thing I know for sure is that I was expecting to be treated with more openness and intention than I have experienced.

Is my anger just? Should I find a new doctor?