Do I have the right to be mad? I’m sick and he left me alone with a cranky baby!!!!

Question

Ok so my husband is self employed. He has a small business which is doing great lately! I’m so so proud of him. 
Right now I am a stay at home mom, while setting up some things to start my own at home business. But I do everything. Literally everything. The ODD ODD time he will bathe our baby, he is a year old and my husband has put him to bed a total of one time. Just yesterday I was out all day with our son because he didn’t want to watch him, I cleaned before I left, when I came back the kitchen was a mess. I find this super disrespectful. Also, it’s garbage day this morning and I asked him a few times to put it out (that’s literally his only job at home) and this morning it’s STILL not put out. Anyways, that’s not why I am angry right now...
So last night I started feeling a little sick. Then in the middle of the night my son woke up crying and I begged my husband to go get him, he kept saying no I’m tired etc. And I just kept telling him please I’m sick. Eventually he asked me what he should do so I told him and then he just brought him to me and said he wants milk 😒 I told him can you please go downstairs and heat a bottle then, im really sick right now. He said no, that he’s sick too and exhausted and can’t do it? I was so annoyed. So I had to feed our son off my boob, when I’m in the process of weaning him off breastmilk...
Anyways, I did that and I asked him to put our son back to bed, and surprisingly he did. When he came back I told him I’m really sick and my throat is killing me. I need you to stay home tomorrow. He said “no, I can’t” I said please I need to relax tomorrow and I don’t want to be around our son because I’m going to get him sick and he said “I can’t, it’s going to fuck up everything.” I just kept begging him, I honestly feel so sick and do not want to watch a baby all day, plus do everything else (remember, my kitchen is still a mess from yesterday). He said “ok why don’t I just take the morning off” I said “ok but it would be better if you took the whole day, I’m really sick...” he said “ok we’ll see in the morning.” 
Morning comes, the guy he hired called as was at our house. My husband slept in. He got up, got ready, and left. Didn’t say bye or anything. I’m so annoyed right now. I don’t even want to talk to him today. I already know once he gets home he’s going to try to make me feel bad about how he’s work for the family, which I am so so appreciative of...but common, I’m so sick and you can’t stay home to help me? But you can stay home for yourself? I think what it is is he just doesn’t want to watch our son all day. 
Mind you in the past he’s told me “I love being my own boss, I can work when I want, I choose my hours, if we need to do something important, I can stay home or work around it” just last week he said “baby, if there’s a nice day this week let me know and I’ll take the day off and we’ll go to the beach or something” I told him two days ago that it’s supposed to be hot one day this week and he right away said “okay, want to go to the beach?” Just yesterday, he took the day off too. 
Now I’m really upset with him!! The kitchen is a mess, garbage is in the house, and I’m stuck at home with a baby that is super cranky (probably sick too), while I’m feeling like complete shit!!!!! 
Do I have the right to be angry?

Answer

I would be livid about him leaving a mess. I'm a SAHM with a 14 month old and a 12 year old. I clean everything but still expect every to help with cleaning the mess they make. 
I can see why you're angry but I personally would never as my boy friend to stay home because I'm sick. His income is what pays the bills and allows me to stay home. He helps with our daughter (14m) when he's home though. Now that I think of it he's never given her a bath but I just do it and never ask. But anyways I wouldn't and haven't asked him to stay home because I'm sick. Yes it would be nice but the money lost from that day would hurt us in the long run. 
Maybe you need to sit down and talk with your husband. I let my boy friend know (with I was pregnant) that I didn't make our child alone so I expect him to help when he's home. He is great with helping most days but a few times I've had to talk to him.

Answer

You absolutely have a right to be angry. I got upset just reading that. If my husband ever tried pulling that crap I'd have a word for him. Being a wife and mom and a 24/7 job. Just because he has a 'real' job doesn't mean he has no responsibility at home.

Answer

You're right for being mad about bhim leaving a mess..but he can't stay home from work because you don't feel good. That's not part of his work agreement. I'm a Sahm, I have three kids. Only my youngest stays at home with me, the others go to school and nursery. I do the school runs because hubby has shift work. Even when I'm sick, I still do it all and hubby goes to work. Because if he stays home, we don't get money. If we don't get money, we can't pay our bills. It's that simple.

Answer

There's two issues here. First,  he shouldn't be making huge messes and leaving them for you to clean up. That's a no. 
Secondly,  your request that he stay home from work because you don't feel good is a little ridiculous. My husband has people he works with that call off when the SAHM/SAHD is sick and it's lame. It sucks you don't feel good. For sure. It's no fun. I'm a SAHM of three,  pregnant with #4. There have been days of running a 103 fever and laying on ths couch just trying to function. But I would never ever ask him to stay home. We depend on his job to support us. He works even when he's not feeling great. I cannot imagine what right it would give me to ask him to stay home and miss out on work stuff to take care of me and our kids. It's seriously insane. And people at work who do that get passed over for promotions and stuff because they aren't dependable. Not only do they get sick,  but if anyone in their house gets sick they also take the day off. It's not a thing. 
I'm sorry you don't feel good,  and there are def issues that he needs to address,  but asking him to stay home because you don't feel good isn't a thing adults get to do.

Do I have the right to be mad? I’m sick and he left me alone with a cranky baby!!!!

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