How do you go about initiating/bringing sex into your relationship after past sexual trauma. I love my boyfriend deeply and trust him immensely. My love, and comfort with him is growing deeper and deeper and we’re becoming more intimate -now this is in terms of kissing pretty much, the kind where it could lead to sex but doesn’t because I stop it before it gets there. Sex is something that deeply scares me because of past, multiple, horrendous, sexual abuse/trauma, the only kind of sex I’ve ever experienced has been horrible abuse, however, I’ve always seen the beauty in consensual sex shared between two people who love, trust, and care for each other. I don’t want my past to rob me (or my boyfriend) of this. Also I want to have kids.. Sex is a very sensitive thing for me obviously, even the thought of it at times terrifies me and could send me into panic. But, it’s something I want to experience with my boyfriend, I trust him enough I just don’t know how to begin to bring it up and initiate it. I’m thinking about therapy (would it be couples therapy or individual?) but I’d like to try and overcome this on my own first. Should I start a conversation, I don’t even know what to say. Has anyone been through this or just have any tips? It’s much appreciated thank you.