Apologizing after disciplining children?

Do you tell your children you’re sorry after you discipline them?

I remember being a kid, I’d do something that clearly wasn’t ok. My mom would yell a little, put me in time out, take a toy away, turn off the TV, etc. What ever form of discipline she chose- she’d come in either crying her eyes out because she was, “so sorry”, or just apologizing full heartedly.

As a child, I was confused. “Did I do wrong or not?”

I never apologized to my children after they get into trouble. I feel like they messed up, it was a learning experience the first time- I express what the issue is and why it can’t be done.. the second time I take action by taking away TV for the day, or getting a toy of if the situation..

(I’ve felt the urge to apologize though!!) I’ve literally felt horrible, especially if they cry after. Probably due to my Mom’s approach growing up.

I don’t apologize though. I just let them know the cause and effect, why I feel strongly about it, and let them know even though I’m upset, they messed up, I still love them, I just think they should rethink their choices or whatever the case may be. If you’re familiar with discipline forms, I use the “conscious” form.

My mom believes that i should let them know I’m sorry. “It’s unnatural to not feel bad after being upset with them..” how the heck do you expect the child to learn if they’re not taught?