I feel so alone.

I feel so alone. And it makes me depressed and my anxiety go crazy. I just have my husband and family. No friends. And I definitely can't talk to my mom like I can my husband. I just, when he's at work I just spiral downward. I hate myself so much and I know I add stress to him. But being alone and not really doing anything. Just sucks. I hate my brain I wish it wouldn't fuck with me. I wish I was normal and had friends. I don't work until 230 so I sit around doing nothing. Sure I'll read or do chores around the house but I just feel so depressed