Ready to start trying for number 2.... But feel like I am betraying my 8 month old 😢 is this normal??

Question

Is this normal. I’ve been having baby fever again for a month or so now, and my husband has been asking when we will have our second since the week we came home from the hospital with baby number 1 lol I would love to have another, and like the idea of having children close in age... But I can’t help but feel like I am betraying my 8 month old son... I love him so much and don’t know how I will love another as much, though I know I would... I just don’t want my son to feel like I am not giving him the attention he needs and deserves. My husband keeps telling me to stop my birth control, and I want to but am so hesitant over fear of how my other kid will feel (my husband is supportive in anything I want and when I’m ready). Is this a normal feeling??! Should I be concerned about my first like this? Am I being selfish. Idk how to deal with these feelings.... Here is my perfect beautiful ornery 8 month old son Reagan Marshall 💙

Answer

I waited until my first was 3 years old to try for another, partly because I had PTSD from her birth experience. But somehow that age gap has been wonderful, she helps with baby, she's potty trained, and understands what's going on in general. Like when I tell her baby is napping it's quiet time, she tells everyone else the same thing. She has scolded my husband a few times when he arrives from work and makes loud noises during baby's nap lol.

Answer

I’m not sure if I should comment since I don’t plan to try for a while, but since no one has really commented anything similar: I feel very similar. I don’t really want another right away, but in a couple years maybe. And the biggest part of why is because I don’t want to give up any part of this special time with my daughter by having to split my attention between the two. It’s really not that logical because I will eventually be in that spot of splitting my attention, and if they’re closer in age the kids may care less because they will enjoy each other’s company more.

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Babe turns 8 months Sunday and we have even trying since 4 months. I’m ready for #2!

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Same here, my son is 8 months today and I'm so ready to start trying for #3 but I feel guilty :/ your son is adorable!!

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I feel this way when I think about having a 2nd, but I had a c section, so even though occasionally I feel like I wouldn't mind having a surprise baby pop up in the next year, I should wait until the 18th month mark. It kinda keeps me grounded for now with those feelings, but I definitely think about it a lot.

Answer

I know exactly where you're coming from. My 8 month old is my number two and my number one is 6! (planned on there being about 3 years between but that wasn't to be) I worried forever about not being able to love the second one the same and the guilt of not paying the first as much attention.
Fast forward to my you gest being born and I came to realise that you don't share the love, you grow more! ♥ Sure my big girl needs some exclusive mummy time too but is thrilled to have a little brother and we are all extremely happy! Hope this helps xxxxx

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I think those feelings are normal. I wondered more about her feeling jealous of baby #2. I’m pregnant & due in June, so they will be 16 months apart.

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We tried for #2 this week and our daughter is 8 months

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The second baby is the one who’s gets less attention 😬 I promise that your heart will expand plenty for the both of them!

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You’re definitely not alone! We’ve started talking/trying for baby 2 and our girl just turned 8 months old. I feel like there’s no way I could love another baby so much and I feel like I’m going to be so overwhelmed, etc. it’s a lot that would be changing but I know I would never regret it and can’t wait to have more children, and to watch them grow together.

Ready to start trying for number 2.... But feel like I am betraying my 8 month old 😢 is this normal??

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