No sex without blow job 😒

Sooo my husband wants a blow job every. Single. Time. Before sex. He absolutely refuses to have sex with me unless I go down on him for 5 to 10 minutes before. I would like to state that I like giving blow jobs and especially when I’m in the mood for it. But I think it’s ridiculous that I have to give him one when I’m not feeling it and get nothing in return. He will not go down on me. He does absolutely nothing to turn me on but expects me to turn him on by going down on him. Maybe I want stimulation before hand too! Another thing is he never initiates sex. I have to be the one to initiate it and even then it’s a shot in the dark sometimes. We’ve went 4 months without sex one time cause he didn’t care and never tried anything. When I would try he’d say he’s tired or make up an excuse! How do I talk to him about this and actually get it through his head that what he does and asks for is unfair to me? I’ve tried talking about it before but it seems as if he doesn’t understand or maybe care. I’m so sexually frustrated and frustrated I’m being coaxed into doing something every single time or I don’t get sex.