Finding it tough

I’m 99.9% sure AF is coming any day, we lost our baby which should have been due 12th October. Call me naive but I expected to be pregnant by now?! I know people have had a tougher ride than me and I respect that but I’m the only one on MY ride. I hope that makes sense. Some people have said to me well at least you already have one, which I know I’m truly blessed and thankful for him every day that doesn’t change me being desperate for more kids.

I feel like I’m getting to a stage where I’m addicted to testing, as I am desperate for it to be positive. To the point where it’s completely negative and I’m feeling defeated by Aunt effing Flo, but I still test anyway?!

Love prayers and buckets full of baby dust needed!!