I always lay my baby down for bed before he falls asleep, so he learns to put himself to sleep.

Tonight was different. Tonight I held him until he fell asleep. I'm still holding him. I can't put him down. I can't let him go.

Last week good friends of ours lost their 16 year old in a wreck.

Tonight I found out a family I've known my whole life lost their 12 year old daughter, she passed in her sleep at home and don't know why yet, but they think it had something to do with seizures she's had a history of.

I've already attended the funerals of a baby that only lived for a few hours, the funeral of a 10 year old, and the funeral of another 12 year old.

I can't stop thinking of all this horrible loss. My heart is shattered.

So, tonight I'm holding on so much tighter.