I’m scared I won’t like it....

My husband and I have been TTC for over a year. I want a baby so bad.... I want to parent, be a mom, go through it all.

But it shocked me when babysitting my friends kid..... I don’t like other people’s children.

I never grew up around kids. My younger brother is only 18 months behind me so we were pretty much at the same stages. I never babysat, never wanted kids until like my second year of marriage when an urge just HIT me. I waited it out thinking it was baby fever but it’s lasted so we started trying.

I can’t explain why I want a baby other than I want to be a mom and help this little human grow. I don’t find babies cute, I’m petrified of vomiting so I know pregnancy will be awful, I don’t like other people’s kids... but more than anything I want to be a mom.

My husband has 7 younger siblings, so he is truly a diaper-changin, formula making, baby expert. I’ve never even changed a diaper. He swears it’s different when it’s ours and I’ll catch on to the parenting stuff but I’m scared.

What’s wrong with me? Am I going to like being a mom? Or should I stop trying?