Should step parents be involved with coparenting?

Question

I had a lot of backlash because ppl don’t think my husband should be involved in co parenting with my ex since he isn’t my sons “real father”. So I just want to know how many people believe that step parents shouldn’t play a role in co parenting?

Answer

Step parents are just as important as parents, as long as they dont start over rulling the other parent. In my house its me and my hubby (step dad) and then my ex and his wife (stop mom) and together all four of us parent my 8 yr old son. We all go to spirting events together, birthday parties together school functions and both step mom and step dad discipline our son. We all have the same major rules for my son to follow and he knows it.

Answer

My step dad pretty much raised me and my siblings since I was 3, my brother was 6 and my sister was 9. We call him dad, our biological father knows this and is okay with it because my mom and step dad had pretty much full custody, my dad also remarried and they have two kids, my step mom is amazing I love her to death. 
I personally think if there’s step parents involved they need to be treated with the same respect as biological parents.

Answer

Yes, but the actual parent should have the most say and be the one to reprimand their own child especially once they become older.

Answer

Step parents can have an opinion but final say goes to the biological parents.

Answer

I believe it's up to you and not everyone else. In my house we don't separate step from our kids together, they see each other as brothers. I do things for my step son I would do for my normal kids. It's not for everyone else to tell you how to handle things.

Answer

Everyone needs to be actively involved and on the same page for the benefit of the child. It isn’t about them. It’s about the kid.

Answer

A lot depends on the custody situation, how old the kids are, if the exes & new partners all get along, if the kids have a good relationship with all the adults etc. etc. Everyone really has to figure out what works best for their family & also sometimes the level of involvement has to change because of changing circumstances. 
I’m a stepmom, I started dating my husband when his son had just turned 3 (he’s now 9). My husband & his ex had 50/50 custody & lived in the same city, his ex was a very present & involved mom & they had a friendly respectful coparenting relationship. I was not a full coparent for the 1st couple of years. 3.5 years ago the ex got remarried & moved to a town 45 minutes away, we had bought a house in a good neighborhood w/ good schools & they made the decision to have my stepson go to school by us. Now our custody arrangement is 75/25, he’s w/ us during the week & 1 weekend a month & w/ his mom & stepdad the other weekends. 
I ended up having to take on a much bigger parenting role & it took awhile to figure out how much I should do & how much my husband should do. The 3 of us (mom, dad, & me) have gotten to a pretty good arrangement w/ regards to communication & respecting each other’s roles (stepdad is not really involved in parenting, I actually haven’t seen him or spoken to him in 3 years, but I guess that arrangement works for them 🤷‍♀️)

Answer

I believe if that step dad is stepping up into a father role. they have every right to coparent.. they want the best interest for the child like you and the biological child. My step dad has been in my life for 20yrs. he stepped up when my dad wasn't around.We butted heads and I didnt want him to step up and be my father. I was a huge daddy's girl and my dad abandoned me. so I held alot of anger. But He stood by me through my rough and stupid teenage years. and I did alot of stupid shit, got into trouble with the law, ran away, snuck out, got suspended twice. He still loved me and never abandoned me. Without my stepdad I wouldnt have had a stable house, one without my mom struggling. 
I just had this argument with my dad's side of the family last year my step dad and I went to a concert. I posted a picture of my step dad and I and said "Had a great time with my dad" and my Bio Dad's cousin posted " wow your dad has changed alot" so got into a arguement that just because my step dad is not my bio dad doesnt mean he is less than a father to me. this was right before Thanksgiving. when my mom the year before said she wanted us for Thanksgiving this year. so I was keeping  my word on that and I didnt want to see them. they were making me feel bad. saying how do you think this makes your dad feel. my dad didnt come back into my life until 2 weeks before my 18th birthday, already graduated, my stepdad paid for summer school so I could graduate with my class. he has been there through my struggles as adult. when I didnt have a car he was taking me to their house on the weekend so I could do laundry and save some money. Just this year, I had to kick my ex out and was short on rent,he stepped up and helped me.  my car wouldnt start. he dropped everything to help me and got me a new battery. just yesterday he financed me a new cheap car cause I wrecked my Monday. Wothout my stepdad I dont know where my mom or my siblings and I would be. 
He stepped up and parented me, did we appreciated back then no but he stepped up to take a 5yo,a 7yo, and a 9yo. he doesnt have biological kids. its because he stepped up to be a father that I turned out okay.

Answer

What do you mean by co parent? Like text the other parent and discuss childs need with other parent. Or do you mean, like you and your husband discuss all decisions together regarding children? Like i will not engage with my husbands ex wife. But we discuss all issues with children together.

Answer

My stepson only confides in me since he doesn’t have a good relationship with either parents. My husband loves him but my stepson is fearful of his judgements and he just “scared as hell” of his mom (his words not mine). I don’t discipline him I leave that up to his dad but I am there for him the same way I am for my daughter. I honestly believe it’s up to the child to decide how much involvement the step parent should have. Some step parents like to force themselves on the children.

Should step parents be involved with coparenting?

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