I want to be a mom so badly. I've been not trying, not preventing for over a year now and it just feels like torture at this point. My husband isnt ready to start actually trying yet but I know hes hoping I get pregnant. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me why I just wont get pregnant. I'm starting to feel bitter towards everybody else and that makes me sad because being bitter towards other people and their happiness is not in me. Well it wasnt in me before. I dont want to start actively trying without his mutual acceptance but I'm dying here. I just wanna start taking things and getting shit started cause this isnt fair anymore. it's taking everything in me to not start doing everything I can for myself to become pregnant.