Help. I’m scared

I’ve selfed harmed a lot in the past and I’m glad I don’t have any scars because of it but I tried to kill muskeg in the summer twice one time at the start with pills and the other with a razor blade please help my mum has seen the cuts but I told her it was my dog I just really need help I’m in my young teens and hate how I look my boobs are massive and it makes me severely depressed I don’t do sports because of it and sometimes miss school because of how I look and don’t want to go outside or be seen looking like I am