Just some encouragement!

Three years ago, I never would have imagined that I would be a married woman!

I was in two unhealthy relationships, one after the other, with men who were narcissistic and selfish and emotionally unavailable and a whole list of other things. I changed myself to make them happy. To give them what they wanted. I stifled myself, my personality, my growth. I stopped speaking in public, stopped calling my mom, stopped pursuing my art. I bought the clothes he wanted me to wear, got the job he wanted me to have, straightened my hair because he liked that it made me look older.

A lot of times, when I would get upset that he was so cruel or judgemental, he would tell me that he was doing it to help me. “I’m breaking you down, so then I can build you back up again.”

At one point, I decided that it was time to be alone. It was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made, and it was hard every day. Hard not to call, not to need him anymore. It took a long time, and it was so empty. But it got easier. And easier. And eventually, I was okay. I was getting back to myself. I painted more. I bought the things I liked. I did what I wanted. It’s a journey that I am still on, still learning how to be myself again.

I was happy being single. And that’s when I met my husband. I was definitely not expecting it. In fact, the first few months I was sure it wasn’t going anywhere, because he was too nice so he had to be a serial killer or something 😂

My husband is the one person I’ve had in my life who is proud of me, exactly the way I am. He encourages me to explore my passions, to spend the whole day reading if I want to. He tells me every day that I am beautiful, even if I haven’t showered in three days. He loves my curly hair, that my wardrobe is made up of bright colours. He works hard to give me the life of my dreams.

So. Ladies. Wait for the good one. The one that loves you above all else. That looks at you like you hold the sun in your hands. The one that is your best friend. The one who wears matching undies with you on your wedding day. I promise you that it is so. So. Worth it.