Serious opinions only

How to you know you've out grown your partner/relationship?

I dont need responses like "when you ask this question"

Me and SO have been together for 9 years. We have three kids together. Life hasnt been smooth sailing. But recently everything he does irritates me . He nit picks literally everything. Has to be negative nancy but only cause "its the truth" always has to put is opinion in....especially when not needed. Still plays video games till 1-4am. Gosh just writing this makes me cringe.

However i have anxiety about "breaking up my family" from childhood trauma. But im just not happy. And i dont know what to do about it.