What to do for someone who miscarried?

Question

I have a friend who just went through her second miscarriage. The first one was 3 or so years ago. But this one she was pretty far along. She was finding out the gender in a few days. I’m not as close to her now as I used to be but I wanted to send her something. I know she’d really appreciate it. So what I should I get??

Answer

I just had an early loss, and the best thing was just knowing my friends cared and were checking on me. Asking what she needs-zeros she need space, does she need distraction, does she need a shoulder to cry on? Maybe giving her a gift basket that has all of those things: a journal to write down her feelings, a funny movie, a sad movie, and a pic of the two of you to show you’re there for her.

Answer

I bought myself a bracelet that said “keep f-ing going” on the inside where no one could see it after my second miscarriage.

Answer

I had a similar experience with a friend losing a baby at 18 weeks. They couldn't find a heartbeat when they went in to find out the gender, which ended up being a girl. She was naturally devastated, but I just let her know that I was there if she needed anything and sent them a Sherries berries (chocolate covered fruit) box. I also checked up on her a few times a week for a while after that to make sure she was ok. I know it doesn't help much, but being there for her is the best gift you can give her right now.

Answer

Thanks everyone! My heart just absolutely breaks for her. It’s been a few months since I’ve seen her so I think I might take her out to lunch and catch up and lend an ear and maybe pick up a small gift.

Answer

Just being there for her and having an open ear if/when she’s ready to talk. A simple “I’m sorry for your loss” means a lot (I had people telling me why I caused it (I absolutely didn’t, I did everything for my baby) and that I’ll get pregnant again or “it just wasn’t meant to be”- I found those hurtful at the time and found those who acknowledged my pain and the life lost to be more understanding). Sending dinner would likely be appreciated or a note with a small gift to remember her baby by. So sorry for your friends loss.

Answer

A sympathetic ear? Some food? Maybe a symbolic gift, like naming a star after the baby she lost, or planting a tree in her honor?

What to do for someone who miscarried?

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