The other side

Finding out you’re pregnant is the most exciting time. You envision your life, wonder if it’s a boy or girl. You tell your partner and maybe some family members and they’re so happy. But no one prepares you for the worst. No one tells you how in one day all that joy and happiness can be taken. No ones says you may have a risk of miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. You go from being in a happy place to a place of emptiness and disbelief and bargaining with God for a miracle. You grieve in silence and carry this anger and depression with you day to day wondering if it’s you and your body, are you able to carry a baby, why me?? It’s not a loss you want to talk about and no one will understand why you don’t look happy when Someone else announces because it means they’re past the point of concern and have a healthy baby but you didn’t and it kills you inside even though you may be happy for them. It’s knowing you can still try again but the fear of a having a healthy baby is overwhelming. It’s trying again knowing you and your partner may face months of negative pregnancy tests. And then when it happens, very day is a scare until that first ultrasound or confirmed bloodwork.

You’re not alone. Many women have gone through it but it doesn’t make the pain any better but someone out there understands it. To all the women, including me, who have gone through it, you’re strong, your capable, you’re a fighter and more brave than you know.

Love and prayers.