What should a first time mom to do?

Question

I have been married to my husband for 3 years and we just had a daughter born in October.
But I have a problem my husband wanted to go back to his home country Trindad and Tobago for Christmas but I don’t want to go because my daughter would be 2 months in December but I don’t feel comfortable for her to travel. And plus my husband wanted everyone to hold her and I’m don’t like anyone germs all over her. And my husband has been upsetting me and he don’t realize my rights as a first time mom. My grandparents even agree for the baby don’t need to go? My mama thinks he with try to control me and my daughter and my husband family will try to find away to  take my daughter away from me and  get her to lived another country. I feel unloved from my husband ever since the pregnancy. Sometimes I feel like I’m not in love with my husband anymore. He just care about is sex. I don’t remember the last time he told me he love me. If we do decide to get separated or end the marriage I need to get ready for a fight. I don’t even trust his sister. She has been living with us to go study in college. And we has been argument about her ever since she been living with us. We wasn’t like this when she lived with us. We were happy.
What should I do?
He is Trindad but living in USA since 17 years old ( yes he is a United States citizen 
And I’m American

Answer

I personally would not feel comfortable either travelling so far with a 2 month old. But that's my opinion. Not everyone will agree 🤷‍♀️

Answer

What do you mean your rights as a first time mom? If you have rights as a first time mom, he has rights as a first time dad.
Just explain to him that the baby is too young to travel so far and there will always be time to travel later. He needs to think of the baby and not himself. His family will just have to wait. 
As for your other problems, pregnancy and new babies can put a strain on marriages for sure. I would give both of yourselves some grace as you adjust. Speak with him and be clear, but not fierce in your delivery of your feelings. Best of luck.

Answer

What makes you believe that his family will try to take your child?  That’s kidnapping and your child is a US citizen so I don’t see how that would be possible unless you are an unfit parent maybe but that just sounds irrational to me.  I do understand your concerns with baby’s health with traveling on a plane that far and to be honest I would feel the same way if it were my 2 month old.
  Give your marriage some time and do your best to communicate openly with him.  Having just had a baby, stress is probably high. Try to find common ground like maybe waiting a few more months to travel overseas or something.  He sounds like an excited dad who can’t wait to show off his baby to his family which I also get.

Answer

I wouldn’t want to travel with a 2 month old either. But that seems like a minor issue over the rest of your post. Why would they steal your child?! 
If you feel unsafe and abused, this is your chance to move with your grandparents and pack up while he’s gone. Sending you strength to do what’s best for you and the baby.

Answer

I understand not wanting to travel that far with a newborn that young. But I also understand your husbands side of wanting to take his child to meet his family, that is such a special moment and probably can’t wait for his family to meet. As for the part that you think his family will try and take the baby from you to live with them... That sounds crazy, I know there is definitely crazy people who would try to do something like that, but there must be some kind of history with them that you would think they would try and do that? What have they done in the past that makes you think they will try and take your baby from you?

Answer

I wouldn’t have traveled that far with such little baby. Not me. Many people do, I wouldn’t have had. Tell him to chill! You are still recovering from labour, all together learning and taking small steps with your baby, bonding, and what not, and he wants to drag you all the way there? What pisses me off is that he should consider your feelings and they should be his priority! Put hour foot down woman, and just say no.

Answer

Also he isn't trying to control you ,you are being the controlling one .your listening to your family.your husband is your family too .you need to listen and keep your family out of it

Answer

We’re waiting longer to travel, our son will be 6-9 months and vaccinated when we go to Puerto Rico. And even PR is a vaccinated country.. Trinidad is still a little rural right? I wouldn’t be comfortable any earlier then 6 months for travel.

Answer

Your upset because he wants his family to meet his daughter ,I'm sorry but how your acting is like a child .your basically telling your husband that your family is more important than his and that isnt right .

What should a first time mom to do?

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