Does your husband help with sleepless nights?

Question

Right. My daughter is almost 3, I am expecting again currently 12 weeks.
My husband has NEVER helped at night with our daughter (she struggles to sleep still at times) I have been tired today and hurt myself being clumsy n hormones got the best of me so I balled about it.
Anyway. I text him and said can u just help at night now and then if it’s a bad night? I am tired etc. 
He said “ok I’ll have the sleepless nights, fall asleep at work and lose my job then u go get a job then how about that”......
Bare in mind... I have 4 soon to b 5 kids, I am doing a degree at uni I do 90% of the housework and childcare, I pay my bills and pay my way as much as I can etc. So it isn’t like I’m lazy and not doing anything. I am just unable to walk into a nursing job... that needs a degree first!. 
Am I being unreasonable asking this? I feel like he expects to do jack all just because he works and I don’t currently. 
He gets up, dresses our daughter, takes the cat litter out and recycling and BRIEFLY hoovers upstairs then after work so 8.5 hours later... he MAY cook tea.... that is all he does in a nut shell. 
I do hooverin sweeping mopping laundry cooking childcare all the driving round (work school etc) shopping cleaning surfaces baths toilets etc I feed the cat I load and unload the dishwasher anything else physically possible.

Answer

you’re husband is being a jerk. you have four kids he needs to help. and you can’t function without sleep. my husband and i would be in a fight if he said that to me. i’d go stay in a hotel for night and tell him to tend to the kids. i’m not a slave and i will not be treated as such. no way.

Answer

Stop doing stuff.. I stopped for a week.. I did nothing.. and I mean housework because I was so sick of doing everything.. he was just being lazy and I cracked.. he asked me why.. I told him.. when was the last time u hoovered.. cleaned the bathroom.. he couldn't answer me.. I said exactly.. until u help.. I'm doing nothing.. he hated it the most when I cooked a meal for myself and not him haha.. we do it 50/50 now.

Answer

Hey guys quick update. So tonight I sat him at the table and said I’d had enough of the lack of support n he either pulls his finger out or gets out.
I appreciate he works, but it isn’t a strenuous job. I am out the house 3 full days a week with university 9-5 and never get a break so I have said he has to start helping more now it isn’t the 1950s anymore and men and women have equal responsibilities there’s no I in team etc,
He gave me a hug and said he will help more and set a board game up for me him and the kids to try n make an effort after he cooked tea etc - will see how long it all lasts! Hopefully it does because I’m a bit shattered. I’ve told him obviously I don’t want divorce n things but if I’m doing it all alone - I may as well be alone so he must stick to his word... was very to the point and firm took a lot of advice so hopefully it’ll work out. Thank u all for ur support xx

Answer

I would leave the kids with him for a weekend whether he liked it or not and go stay somewhere else. He is taking advantage of all the good you do. As the saying goes, one of the hardest jobs is being a stay at home mother. You are constantly working.

Answer

Well, he even stays up to keep me with company if I'm having a sleepless night and he knows it 🙈

Answer

I wish my husband would say something like that to me.  You need to tell him it’s not acceptable, someone can only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

Answer

Research healthy sleeping habits for toddlers. I think you may find the answers you need.

Answer

Um, absolutely he should help. I’m a stay at home mom too and my husband has to wake up early so I do the majority of night care, but he understands I need a break sometimes too.

Answer

My husband had all three of his kids and no help from the mothers. He worked long hours, cleaned, took care of them even during the night, everything for the kids and home. 
I was a single mom and the two nights the dad stayed at my house when she was a baby he still woke me up even though the point of him being there was so that I could sleep and he would get up with baby. 
My ex husband when he would have his son over night he never woke with him it was either his mom or dad. Son was 16 when I entered the picture but he did have me do all the overnight stuff including during the awful winter when we got a puppy. I was the only one working and he wasn’t. I didn’t get any sleep for 6+ months. 
If I was married to my now husband with babies he would do minimum of half the night stuff and housework. Because he would want to not because I ask.

Answer

How many hours a day is he away from the home for work?  What kind of work does he do?
My husband made more money but was only away from the home for 8 hours and 10 minutes a day including drive time. I was away from the home 11 hours a day including 3.5 hours commuting. He worked 10-6pm and I left at 725am and got home at 630pm working 9-5. He had more time so he did more of the house work. He cooked most meals. I cooked on the weekends and did his laundry and any household laundry. Not that I did nothing but it was based on time home. 
We have 5 kids in the home. And two dogs

Does your husband help with sleepless nights?

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