Stressed

So me and my bf was trying to have a child for a while and we broke up for 2 months and in that time frame I was raped going home from a date with a guy I met I got back with my x after a while I told him I was raped and I didn’t report it I was scared to then I found out I was pregnant I was so excited I thought me and my bf would be a family but the date didn’t add up come to find out the baby is my rapist baby I was so devastated so was he but I can’t get an abortion it’s murder to me and I don’t have the balls to give it for adoption because I was a system child and it was hard for me growing up so me and my boyfriend decided to keep the baby and raise it together as a family