Was I raped?
Long story short...I never drink but my boyfriend and I made plans to go to a bar close to home and just Uber home when we were done. I don’t usually do this so I was feeling it early into the night but I felt safe because we had a safe ride home and I was with my boyfriend. The last thing I remember that night was ordering our Uber home and getting into the car, after that I remember nothing. But that next morning my boyfriend begins to casually tell me I passed out but that he still had sex with me. He said it so casually it took me a second to hear him but once I processed this...my stomach rolled. I feel betrayed by someone I loved and trusted. I never thought he would do that to me. But we have been in a relationship for a year now and have had consensual sex prior to this incident...but this felt so different. To have no memory and for him to take advantage of me..I just feel sick about it but I feel wrong..like I should justify myself. On one hand I feel stupid for ever letting myself be so vulnerable..but I see people my age doing this every weekend. But I’m sure they don’t have sex with their unconscious partner..so I guess that’s the difference. I should be able to trust him to take care of me that because he has to but because he should. This will make me question relationships forever and if I’m actually safe and if I can trust my own judgment or not