Divorce or stick it out?

Question

So a little back story without telling to many identifying details in case I know someone on here.
I'm under 30 years old and my husband is 15 years older. We have been together for 5 years and married for one.
I have always had trouble reaching orgasm during sex because I felt weird having to rub my clit during sex but finally had my first orgasm with husband a year ago. 
Ever since then sex has became very scarce( maybe once to twice a month).
I honestly thought it was because he wasnt attracted to me anymore because I know he masturbates a few times a week.
Anyways, last night my husband and I got drunk and I complained about the lack of sex like usual and we got into in argument. Long story short, he said he doesn't want to have sex with me because I'm touching myself all the time and he doesn't like it. Which isnt true because I only have done it like 10 times since we have been together resulting in only about 4 orgasmes. So pretty much I have only had 4 orgasm in the past 5 years during sex. 
So my question is should we divorce or should I stick it out with my husband?
I dont know if all this makes sense but I just cant see myself with him for another 5 years, not having orgasms because I feel guilty having to rub my clit during sex and only having sex twice a month.  
I feel terrible even thinking about a divorce, but hes unwilling to go to counseling and I feel like I shouldn't feel guilty for doing something that gives me pleasurable sex. 
I have never been so sexually frustrated in my life that masturbation isnt curing my horniness anymore, I just want to be fucked and to feel desired again.
ALSO, are all guys like this? Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life?

Answer

That’s really not okay!! I’m sorry you’re going through this. The fact that you’ve stuck it out for 5 years with only 4 orgasms during sex is astounding. 
I don’t know if it’s grounds for divorce right now. I would suggest either regular couples counselling or sex therapy!! Those two treatments can make a massive difference and really save certain situations. 
Firstly, I would also tell your husband that either he needs to get you off with oral, rubbing your clitoris or using toys in the bedroom because sex is about TWO PEOPLE and both of those people should be having orgasms during sex!! You aren’t there just to serve his sexual needs. 
Does he realise that a majority of women do not orgasm from penetration alone??? If he isn’t willing to put in the work to give you pleasure, maybe he should be alone and you can go find someone who actually wants to please you. But talk it through first and see how it goes.

Answer

I’d be straight up and tell him that you need to touch yourself because he isn’t capable of getting you off and that you deserve to get pleasure from sex as well. I’d literally throw it in his face that this is entirely on him, so if he wants sex without you touching yourself, he needs to improve his game.

Answer

Big nope from me on his reaction.... Why? He's masturbating (cool, whatevs cuz it's his body).. But he's mad that you're touching yourself for pleasure?! Hell no! It's your body. My husband is able to get me off, but even then, he has no problem rubbing my clit or me doing it. Your man needs a wake up call about sex and pleasure. I would tell him if you're not allowed to touch yourself during sex, he's not allowed to touch himself and masturbate 💁 why does he need extra pleasure and extra time to get off if you're not allowed to get off at all 💁

Answer

No, not all men are like this. Some even think it’s sexy if you touch yourself! He needs to be more open. Maybe counseling would help or if he researched and found that what you need is not uncommon at all!

Answer

The problem I see here is not sex. The problem here is you have expressed a need... and your husband is unwilling to commit to helping solve it. And hes older than u so it could possibly be that the women were more experienced and could have sex and have orgasm. But that doesn’t excuse him not trying to help solve your inability to. Have u explored other options... such as different positions that stimulate the clitorus or even a libido pill to intensify the action. Have you tried masturbation like he does alone?

Answer

Does he realise not everyone can cum just from penetration alone? My husband didn't realise this when we got together and I had to explain because I also have to rub my clit during else I get no where! If he isn't willing to accept this then you really have to look at if you can live with it, and if you can't then you know what you need to do. Personally if my husband tried to make me feel guilty for touching myself I'd kick him to the curb. It's my body I'll touch it when I like including during sex. I'm sorry your having a rough time with your husband x

Answer

Maybe he should get you off himself then! Like who tf does he think he is? That is such bullshit.

Answer

Are there other issues why to jump to divorce?
Like could he work I’m getting you off instead of you having to do it yourself? Buy toys together?

Answer

He should be more considerate of what you need to be pleased. He has 0 issues knowing you’re sexually dissatisfied? Sex isn’t everything, but it matters. No, not all guys are like this. My SO only thinks of pleasing me, no matter what it needs to be, because that’s what gets him off.

Answer

Maybe a marriage counselor?

Divorce or stick it out?

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