I don’t really expect anyone to read this, I think I just need to vent about my husband a little bit before I go crazy.

So, a little bit of back story. My husband could have went his whole life without having a baby. He just never really cared for it. I on the other hand have always wanted children and he knew that when we got together 11 years ago. He married me KNOWING that children is something I want and, lord willing, would have someday. So fast forward to now, he and I have a 6 week old baby boy who is my absolute world. Having a baby was something that I brought up a lot, but really tried not to pressure him into because I knew that could only turn out badly. So when i went off of my birth control it was something we both agreed on, although he made plenty of jokes about it all being my idea. Even through out my pregnancy he would make comments like “this is what YOU wanted” or “do you regret going off of your birth control yet?”. He never really took it easy on me during my pregnancy either. I had probably the easiest pregnancy someone could have, but If I was having an emotional day or wasn’t in the best mood he would tell me how hormonal I was being and would go off and leave me alone to until I was “over it”. Everyone told me that he would be better after he met our little man, and sometimes he is, but I still don’t feel like this is what he wanted even though as i said before, going off my birth control was a decision we made together. He never really helps me with the baby. It’s like it’s my “job” to do everything. He has changed 1 diaper and absolutely refuses to do it again. If I need to shower or do anything I can’t do while watching the baby I have to make sure he is clean, fed, and most of the time sleeping before my husband will agree to “watch” him for 20 minutes ( there have been times where I have had to get out of the shower to get the baby because he was crying and my husband couldn’t handle it). The only time he has gotten up at night due to the baby is when I have put the baby down to sleep and hopped in the shower and he wakes before I’m out and that has happened maybe 3 times. Other than that I have been up with the baby 100% of the time. I have been on maternity leave so I’ve been home all day, but it’s still hard work taking care of a newborn, however, my husband still refuses to even help cook dinner. Last night we literally didn’t eat because i was too busy with the baby to cook and he wouldn’t cook or watch him. He told me that I cook with the baby all the time so I can do it again. He doesn’t clean anymore, he has actually gotten in the habit of leaving His mess all over the place. On his days off he plays video games all day, as he does when he get off work during the week. He never really spends time with the baby and when he does it’s because I have asked him to and he throws a whole fit about it. I just don’t know what to do 😭 I love my baby more than my next breath, but every now & then I’d like to have 20 minutes to myself to catch a nap or take my time in the shower rather than rushing through it so my husband doesn’t freak out when the baby starts crying. I’ve tried talking to my husband about it all and he just gets pissed and reminds me how stressed he is at work. I just feel like I have no help. & on top of taking care of the baby full time I also have to take care of all of our 3 dogs and 2 cats, ALL of which were his idea and he even got some of them without asking me, but that’s another story 🙄. I go back to work in less than 2 weeks and I’m terrified things are just going to get worse. He has already made remarks about how he’s not going to be the one picking the baby up from the sitter even though he gets off work hours before I do and would literally pass the sitters house on his way home from work whereas I have to travel 30 minutes the opposite direction to get to the sitters.

Anyway, that’s my rant. If you’ve made it this far, sorry I sound like I’m whining. I’m just running off of very little sleep and needed to get it out.