I have a six month old daughter, she's my first and only child. My husband and I have some problems in our relationship and I seriously wonder if it's problems between us or just a problem I create myself.

I'm the 'breadwinner' (we're young parents) in our relationship, which is fine. I make around $16 per hour, which is pretty good compared to our expenses, so it's no big deal. My husband makes $12, he's worked at a local shop for several years and it's something he's very comfortable doing and he gets a full 40 hour work week so it's not like he sits around and does nothing, however when I get home from work It's just me and our daughter until he gets home, when I'm usually trying to put her to sleep. Once he gets home he usually has some drinks plays games on his computer for a couple of hours before coming to bed. When our daughter wakes up I usually get up once she starts crying, every time. I try to get up with her the first couple of times if I can and then if I start waking him up to get up with her. We'd discussed a few times the fact that I felt like there was an imbalance in how frequently he got up with her through the night and how much (I felt) he contributed to caring for her during these hours. Being fair, I usually tend to take up these responsibilities myself before asking for help A. Because he does struggle with anxiety and I feel like it's just easier for every one if I simply do it as opposed to causing residual stress he may feel later on and B. Due to the amount of work and overtime I do I miss out on her most active hours of her day (she's a morning baby and I leave quite early in the day). Also, in fairness to my husband she's usually ready for bed by the time he gets home. He has her for about an two hours in the morning before my mom comes to watch her as his day starts 2 hours after my own, I get home around 7pm most nights and I leave around 8am so I am usually pretty tired when I come home. However, I try to squeeze in as much tome with my daughter as I can so obviously I enjoy the extra time. On the weekend days he works Sunday so I'm home with our daughter all day (he recently started taking Wednesday's off work to help work around our schedule so he has her while I work Wednesdays) I work Saturday and when I get home he usually goes to band practice for a few hours and I usually instinctively watch our daughter for the rest of the day. However he does drink a fair amount in the evenings (he has a problem we have addressed multiple times) and he does not often wake up to the sound of her crying. I lose sleep a lot of nights, which wouldn't be so bad if it was a shared burden. I also think I might carry some residual hostility because I had to financially support both of us through out my pregnancy which was neither an easy nor comfortable pregnancy (I had hyperemesis, developed gallstones and ended up with preeclampsia), and his drinking persisted despite his promise to change. However, I did spend four months at home with her after my pregnancy so I was fortunate to have more time with her than most moms and he did start working again two weeks after she was born, though I was kind of upset that he returned to the shop he worked at prior to my pregnancy as we really needed insurance for our daughter and to have my gallbladder removed. We'd tried for Medicaid a couple of times during my pregnancy and unfortunately it didn't work out as in our area it's VERY difficult to receive benefits. So as soon as I was able I found the first job I could that had semi decent pay along with benefits and the opportunity for overtime. I constantly worry that my job isn't going to be enough to support us due to the fact that we accrued a decent amount of debt during my pregnancy because of bills we put on my credit card and a couple medical bills from OB visits during my pregnancy and we've been very tight on finances.

Now, a few nights ago everything kind of accumulated into an absolute meltdown on my end. I had gotten home from a particularly rough day at work on a Saturday, I was feeling very burned out and as soon as I came home my husband headed to band practice for a few hours and our daughter was particularly fussy and tough to soothe, I'd just gotten her calmed down when he came home and he went instantly to his computer like usual, had a couple drinks and I was getting madder and madder until I finally decided to try and blow off some steam and go to bed. Since by then our daughter was ready for bed I brought her with me and laid her down and gave her a bottle. We went to bed and he came to bed around 2 am, he was pretty tired, and she started waking up. I was pretty tired from the day before so I asked him if he'd get up and make her a bottle. He didn't stir so I went ahead and did it, the next few times she got up to fuss it was the same story, until I finally got angry and physically woke him up, at that time he'd gone down to the kitchen and I was worried he was making her another bottle because I already made her a bottle and she didn't need another one. He was confused when I asked what he was doing and I explained that I'd tried multiple times to get him up and I probably wasn't mature about explaining my emotions and the verbage I used was very accusatory, I believe it was something around ' Unfortunately I can't drink myself out of hearing our daughter cry at night' which I admit was was inappropriate, I apologized for this as that was not the right way to approach that topic. However, we didn't speak to each other for two days following this altercation. When I finally broke down and called to see how we wanted to proceed he essentially told me no one gets a trophy for just being a parent (this is true, I don't expect that) and that he was livid about how I made. him feel like I viewed him as a bad partner and parent which was never my intention. I apologized for making him feeel this way and for what I said. What I suppose I'm asking is from an unbiased and objective point of view what should I do with these feelings of inequality I have? Am I really the problem? Please be honest, I sincerely want to improve if I can.