Self image issues and hubby doesn't like it
Sorry the title says it all. But more story on this. So I lived with my uncle (I lost my mom at the age of 5yrs and he was the only one who would take care of me) and up till the age of 18 he has always called me names like fat,stupid,ugly, and many more. And I was bullied at school same names just different people. Well I met my now husband and he calls me all these wonderful names but I can't really accept them. Like years and years of names being shoved in my face it seems like they actually became my self image. I try to put makeup on or try sexy clothes and I always put myself down. As soon as I put my makeup on I wash it off. Then I always call myself lazy and a bad mom. I had my MIL call me that s**t since I met my husband. I try my best. Yes I'm still a fairly new mom I have a 3yr old she's my first and only right now. Then on top of that I feel like a failure cause I have pcos and been ttc for 19 months. It's like I can't block these voices from years ago that's calling me these names. My husband hates it. He tries to help me but last night I couldn't take no more and broke down I said to him how I feel like this all the time. Then he said so all these years of trying to help boost ur self image and confidence was doing nothing. I feel bad cause I couldn't say anything. Yes I'm plus sized I'm like 290lbs. I just always hated myself cause I don't look good in all these sexy clothes or in new makeup ideas or even new hair dos. Like I don't do things for myself anymore cause I don't think I would look good. I don't even take pics with me in them anymore... and now here I am 23 ig u can say bulling myself.