Upset about not breastfeeding

I’m just really upset about not breastfeeding and I have been since I decided not to. Right after she was born I was very depressed and not in a good place mentally. I couldn’t get myself to breastfeed or anything. I was miserable and constantly crying till my baby was 2 weeks old and I started feeling myself again and so mad at myself because my milk was already drying up and I knew there was no way that I could feed her anymore. Now my baby is 5 weeks and my husbands cousin just had a baby almost a week ago and she’s talking about how great her breastfeeding is going. I’m happy for her but it makes me want to ball my eyes out. I regret it so much. I know a fed baby is what is important but I feel terrible like I’m not a good mom for doing it or that it’s going to affect her not having that bonding time or that formula is not as healthy and good for her as my milk would of been. Ok I’m done I just needed to vent.