I cant stand when it seems so cut and dry to most people regarding an abusive relationship of "just leave"... Here's why:

Currently, I'm in an abusive one. I dont get hit or beat, but everything else I go through. From the name calling, controlling and forced sex.

It is NOT ok. I hate it every single day. I fantasize about the day I can leave. How the very thought of the solice brings me peace.

I have a daughter with him. He treats her like the most precious gem on this planet. He's never short with her, or mean. She is his world. He is the perfect dad to her. They are tighter than 2 coats of paint.

Leaving with her would destroy her. I'm not in it for that.

I have absolutely zero money. Zero. Ok, I lie, maybe 15 cents. I have no vehicle, and NO ONE to help or stay with. No family, the 2 friends I do have are in another state and even if I did leave, they wouldnt be able to afford to have me stay nor the accommodations. I have 2 other children involved as well (that are not his) in which I'm currently fighting their father (my ex husband) in court. My ex decided to beat the hell out of my son and now ifls facing criminal aggravated battery.

Going to a shelter isnt an option. That would be more ammunition for my ex to try to use saying that I cant adequately take care of my children. And given he has a lawyer and I dont, I probably wouldnt win that battle.

It's not as easy as everyone says. I've went to counseling, I've medicated myself, I've tried every avenue and outlet. How are you expected to leave with no money, no place to go, no way to get there, and a court system in a different state aiming to get your 2 other kids taken from you in the event you wind up homeless? How do you destroy your daughter's heart and soul because of how I'm treated.

I'm venting, I'm mad, im sad and im tired.