How should I tell my husband I dont want to my MIL over for Christmas?

Question

So I've been married for a year now and I've only met my MIL 3 times. That's because shes a very toxic person. She takes advantage of my husband and guilt him if he doesn't work at her business which is 7 days of week plus his career job he has. Anyway he shared with me how horrible of a mother she has been to him since a child and is still so selfish and cruel  to him till this day! 
She never helps him out on anything and  and only calls him for work purposes . Anyway my hubby has a son from his past relationship and she  sees him once a year so basically she refuses to be part of my husband's life unless it involves her business. This of course is an issue to me because I love my husband. 
We dont see each other at all because she doesn't want anything to do with family and I tried at first to be respectful towards her but she was rude and ignored my presence. Me being me was very hurt by it because I actually was trying. Anyway I got over it and accept that she will never be part of our family because she chooses not too. 
My hubby, his son, and I spent Thanksgiving at my parents and we had such a wonderful time and they love my hubby and his son 🙂 so we decided to plan and  go over on Christmas eve and come back home Christmas day. Yesterday my hubby told me  that he invited my MIL for Christmas and she agreed with my SIL in which dont like me either. I don't want them to come because I know it's not  like they care about us and only coming for the food. My hubby only invited her bc he wishes he had a mother that loves him and wishes he had the relationship i have with my parents. I love him and care so much about him but I dont want to be disrespected again at my own home . I'm 4 months pregnant and still have not received any congratulations from them. How do I tell my husband I dont want her over? Or should I just suck it up and deal with it ?

Answer

If he really wants to see her, and you just saw your family on Thanksgiving, I would, kindly, say suck it up. Do it because you love your hubby and try to kill her with kindness. Mean people don’t know how to handle that 😉 Maybe seeing how badly it turns out will dissuade him from inviting her again.

Answer

I'd just explain that you understand that it's important to him to have his mom around but she's toxic and rude and it would make your holiday less enjoyable to have her around. How you feel matters and it just needs to be expressed.

Answer

Just have them over. If they insult you or him on Christmas call them out on the spot.

Answer

I have a client who said her MiL is rude to her. But she said when she was at her mothers house, MIL didn’t have the balls to say anything rude. Probably because she knows she had her support system around her and Wasn’t on “her own turf.”
She won’t be able to get away with her normal behavior with your mom around. And hey if she does let her make herself look bad. She’s only embarrassing herself. 
Maybe I’m petty, but if I had a MIL who treated me like that. I would WANT her to see how my family was sweet and caring and involved in my and my husbands life so she can see how inferior she is. Let her see what a family is supposed to act like.

Answer

I would say let her come. She honestly might not act like that in front of your family. In that case you and your husband both win. IF she does end up acting like that you should pull your husband to the side, and let him know that you feel she’s ruining your family dinner and you’re going to ask her to leave. 
But you should definitely give it a chance for your husbands sake.

Answer

I would just tell your husband that you are concerned about not being able to enjoy your holiday because of his mom’s potential behavior and see if the two of you can’t come up with a plan to make that feel better for you. For instance, maybe he can speak with her before hand and just set some boundaries, such as we expect you to be respectable and polite, otherwise you won’t be welcome again next year. Something like that.￼

Answer

My mil hates me and I hate her, I don’t feed into her bullshit and she knows it. I kill her with kindness when I’m around her.

How should I tell my husband I dont want to my MIL over for Christmas?

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