I’m breaking…and nobody really knows

Lately I’ve been done for. I come home and lay down to cry myself to sleep. I am in this amazing relationship or so I think. He keeps telling me to leave then he will call apologizing about it to act like nothing happened. Lately. I’ve been having trouble getting out of bed in the morning because I know I’ll have to face another day. Even when I’m in a crowd of people I’m feeling alone. I’m terrified to go into public because I’m scared someone will recognize me or I’ll get caught in a crowd and freak out. In class I’m scared to be called on because if I get this answer wrong everyone’s gonna laugh. My moms started taking notice into my actions. She asks if anything’s up but I keep the same “I’m fine” Everytime. My parents wanted to test me for anxiety and depression but let me tell you. I know they forgot. I’m 14 and I feel so alone and lost and I’ve prayed and tried to get help. But it’s so hard. I’m expected to be this perfect kid. A freshman they expect to ace a dual credit test next week along with my two other honors finals and four projects due. I also have meetings twice a week and practices that last around two hours three times a week and we live on a small farm. We’re remodeling the house my dad has cancer that we are praying is gone. I know it shouldn’t come on here to whine or cry. But I have nowhere else to go.

Edit:I’ve tried to remind my parents. But they’re old school and don’t believe in it..