Stuck in a bad situation

Please know hate, I know we’re both stupid. Just trying to think deeper into this.

My ex and I we broke up 3 years ago due to him cheating on me. I was madly and love with this man and I know in my heart he loved me. Over the years we’ve reconnected but it’s all been behind his girlfriend (girl he cheated on me with) back and now since I have a boyfriend of a year we have reconnected twice in this relationship. (Yes I know we’re terrible people)

But what I want advice on is why do you guys think we keep doing this? We don’t want to be with each other, we don’t want to leave the people we’re with now, and both of our families hate each over so it would never work. I have some stuck feelings with him that I’ll never get over. I’ll probably never love somebody more than him in my entire life and I just want some advice on situation and see if anyone has been in a situation like this.

Side note: my ex and I are not in any relationship. We just keep hitting each other up and there’s clearly feelings. We talk about the good times that’s all. It’s a type of cheating but we’re not full on seeing each other, I actually haven’t seen him in person since the last time we hung out as a couple 3 years ago.