So there’s this guy I like (he’s a senior and I’m a junior) and I liked him before I became friends with him and his friends this school year. We’re good friends and I was pretty sure I lost feelings for him. But then I started catching them again😕. On the first Saturday of thanksgiving break I had a friend over and we went to the neighborhood park where we met up with his other friends that my friend and I had planned on getting high with. They’ve all been high before but I’ve only vaped and they kept telling me he couldn’t come but he wanted to but he didn’t go bc he hadn’t been invited. (His friend group is in college they graduated from our school and one of them is his brother). But after they left to go to their college party he ended up coming after my friend whom he didn’t even talk to before texted him to come bc I wanted him there. He stayed for a little bit but his dad had called to go get something from his brother who was stupid high in one of their friends dorm room.

This thanksgiving break we started talking talking after that day but I went on a trip with my family to Miami and Key West. I sent him some teasers and he sent me some back we flirted and sexted and sent/got nudes.

But there’s also this other girl he’s talking to who he has known before me and like way before he liked me. He’s into thick girls but I’m the exception I’m on the slim thick side of skinny. And at school this week he’s been talking to her more than me. But we have two classes together on b days and he was late bc I kept him up the night before over the phone. (He goes to sleep early at like 9/10) Then we went to our next class and we were grabbing each other’s legs under the table and one of our friends saw and said he didn’t like where this was going!! He said someone kept him up last night which is why he was tired today then later on he told them I was the one that kept him up but at the same time we were trying to keep this on the dl because nothings official. The next b day I was grabbing him under the table in that class but he didn’t do anything back and then it got to after school and I had basketball practice and I kept snapping him. We’re both a part of this one club and they were having a parent meeting that I didn’t know about so when I got out of practice I went to chill with him in his car which parked right next to one of his friends with the windows down. We couldn’t do anything then but he started exposing me the gear shifts in his manual car. Then we walked in together (me, him, and his friend). The meeting started later than it was supposed to but in the meant time we were just chilling and or waking around. I followed him a bit but then stopped bc I didn’t think he wanted me to. But he was trying to catch me alone without anyone else knowing. After the meeting his parent told him to head straight home bc he was gonna go to the gym with his dad so he couldn’t stay long but we walked out alone and it was completely dark when we got out I pulled out my phone because I couldn’t see much and he started grabbing my ass as we walked then we reached my car in the poorly lit parking lot and he said “that’s it you’re not gonna say goodbye or anything” and I said “I am just let me put up my stuff” then I closed the door and went in for a hug. He hugged me back and grabbed my ass some more and he pulled away from the hug and kissed me!!

In my head after that short kiss he walked away in silence and I sat in my car quietly and drove off but later that day when we talked on FaceTime he told me what had happened and how I kissed well.

He told me he was readjusting bc I was short and he had to lean down and I went onto my tippy toes and kissed him back. (He said I looked very shocked) Then he said we did hold hands for a bit and we said our good byes and I asked him if he was actually leaving and we went our ways.

On Friday he talked to the other girl all day except for when he was finally getting me to try meat for the first time because I’m vegetarian. And I went to my game then to the skate night out school had to fundraiser for the seniors prom.

At skatenight he was skating with her and his other friends I tried dropping a hint saying “think I can keep up” and he said “I don’t know probably” but he didn’t race me he just slowly drifted off to the side to get off the rink. Then he was leaving cause his friends were also and they had to get their stuff out of his car. And I had asked him if we could chill together and he was down. We were waiting on them to take pictures outside by the sign before I came out of the skate rink. Then I walked out and went to his car.

We were chilling there listening to music not much talking he went in to kiss me and I kissed him back then he pulled me over the middle thing into his lap and we made out for a hot while. Then I kept saying how it was a been cramped cause his car is small and we moved to the back of his two door. We made out some more me on top of him laying and we got skin to skin with our tops off he was warm and he just had this smile on his face while I kept laughing (I laugh a lot). The way his eyes were looking into me with his angelic smile put me in awe. Then he started rubbing me through my shorts as we made out me sitting in his lap at that point then I decided to go down on him. This was my third time sucking a dick but I also have a really bad gag reflex. I didn’t notice but my teeth grazed his dick a little and he didn’t tell me till after but he said I was doing good other than that and he didn’t want me to worry too much.

After this he pulled me back up to kiss him some more and when our lips parted he said he brought condoms just in case and I asked him where and he said the glove compartment and I said can we (he knew I was a virgin and he’s only done it with his long time ex girls friend of two years, they’ve been broken up for over half a year now). I went to grab it and he smacked my ass from the back while I was digging around looking for it. He taught me how to put it on then I went back on top of him and straddled him again. He tried easing me into him while making out with me but I wasn’t wet enough (maybe because I was nervous) and so he fingered me a bit to get me going and stretch me out a bit (I was really tight) then he eased me down and kept making sure I was comfortable. Once we started we went slow and it stopped hurting once it was in all the way. With his hands on my hips he guided me as I rode him then my mother called to tel me I was supposed to have left half an hour ago so I asked him if he could take over because I was still new to this.

We struggled getting him on top because of how small his car was. But he got there and he still had that same smile on his lips and the same look in his eyes I could tell he didn’t want to hurt me in any way. He took over but oh so gently until he came then he pulled out and tied up the condom while we made out some more. And we talked about it on our drives back home.

I was supposed to see him again on Saturday but my mom grounded me because I had gone to skatenight when I wasn’t supposed to go and I didn’t come home when I was supposed to by curfew. He didn’t text me as much maybe because he was busy with friends and then we got to Sunday and he’s trying to kill our snap streak bc he doesn’t keep them (I’m the only one he’s had a streak with in a long time).

I’m scared he’ll chooses the other girl over me but we also had sex and idk how to find out for sure which one of us he wants but I want to do it again. When I asked him if we would be doing it again on Saturday he said “not now, I can’t get used to this” so idk what that’s supposed to mean.

Any thoughts???