HELP!!!

So I have been with my boyfriend for a few years. We were at my ex best friends party and we were all drinking and having fun. Me and my ex best friend start making out. Fast forward a few months and it happens again, only this time my boyfriend is in the bed watching us and grabbing up on me. 1 month later, here we are again making out. I’d say we made out 5 different occasions..Now her and I don’t talk anymore because of a few reasons but sometimes all I can think about are those nights and making out with her🥵 Is it bad that I want to make out with her again? 😩