Weight problem

A little short background on me: I’m 24, height 5’3 right now I’m weighing about 103. Throughout my whole life I’ve been around 90-100lbs always a size XS and size 0 in high school and early teen years. When I started dating my bf in 2014 when I was 19 I got on birth control. At the time I was begging to gain weight. Birth control helped me get to my highest which was 136. I fit into mediums and a size 3 and I felt happy with myself I became curvy and had a nice shape. I never thought I was “fat” or “out of shape” or any of those things. That never crossed my mind. Until family members started commenting about how much weight I gained. Comments like “you used to be skinny what happen” “omg you need to watch how you eat, your gaining weight” “get a gym membership” Thats when it started... When I was 23 I started trying diets but I was still hungry. I tried working out but didn’t have the motivation to. I tried everything diet pills, stomach flat teas, starving myself, smaller intake on calories. I didn’t know what to do anymore. So I thought maybe if I stopped my birth control I’ll lose the weight. Sure enough about 3-4 months later I started losing weight. I dropped down to 117 an I was happy with it. But then I wanted to be smaller I wanted to fit into a size 0 again and be in a size XS. I became obsessed with losing weight to the point I weighed myself everyday, I trained my body to eat once a day even if I was still hungry I told myself I couldn’t eat anymore for the rest of the day. It even brought me to the worse stage to where I’ll chew food but not swallow it, I’ll spit it up in a trash bag. An it brings me to today, I’m coming to realize that I do have a problem. Even though I’m weighing 103 right now I still feel like I need to be skinnier. In my head I tell myself if I see 105 I have to start starving myself completely to hurry and lose those pounds. I stare at myself an still “think” I’m not a good enough weight. I feel tired all the time now I never have energy to do anything I always want to just be in bed. Today I weighed myself an it’s still 103 and I wanna cry because I feel like it’s a lot. I know In reality that’s not the case but I’m tired of being hungry an not eating I’m tired of hearing comments now about needing to eat more. People aren’t understanding that it’s hard for me it’s mentally, emotionally, and physically hard for me. I don’t know where to start but I know I’m ready to get healthy and be happy with myself.