Married and considering abortion

My husband and I have been married for almost a year. We found out last week I'm pregnant, and it's a major shock. We've been using condoms, and we honestly don't even know how it could have happened since it didn't seem like anything was wrong with the condom and we are always very careful and follow every rule. I'm not birth control for the simple fact it always reacts negatively to my body. Trust me, it sucks and I've tried about anything and everything. So condoms is our only source of protection.

So anyways we find out I'm pregnant, and that day I just knew I couldn't keep it. This isn't something we were planning for at all, it would set us back financially so much. I have two boys from a previous marriage and I'm beyond happy with what I already have and since they are a little older it's like I'm just done and over raising little ones. My new husband and i we have so many plans for our future and a baby isn't one. With my last child, pregnancy and birth was so beyond traumatizing I also wouldn't want to go through that again. I had severe preeclampsia, and then because of other reasons he had to stay in nicu for 2 months which was devastating. I just can't do that to myself again. My husband has been telling me it would be the right thing to do. He seems to be for it and ok with it. But now I can't stop thinking if he eventually hold it over me or regret it. I can't stop thinking about how it will effect me if I go through with it. I've always been raised that you don't get an abortion unless for medical reasons, rape, incest, anything along those lines. So I feel like that's so set in my mind so I feel like a terrible evil monster for considering this when it's not any of those reasons. Part of me is thinking now that maybe we should just keep it and buckle up for the ride. But a big part of me is just like no. I'm not ready for a baby physically or mentally at all. I'm just scared of what the doctor will think of me. I'm afraid of my husband looking at me differently over it even though hes in board with it.