Toxic MIL not letting go?... lol pls help

Question

Hey ladies I need some advice on how to deal with this...
(Together for 4 years just got engaged, we’ve lived at his parents house for 2 1/2 years - his dad passed away and his brother lives 6 hrs away. It’s just the three of us) we live in a two story house probably close to 2500 sqft. The entire half of the upstairs is the master suite and the other half has 3 bedrooms and a bathroom. MIL has her master suite and we have our bedroom, bathroom, living room and a guest room!!! To set the scene lol 
I got home from work last night and I hear MIL running across our hall upstairs and then the spare bedroom (our spare bedroom) light turns on. I walk up to see she took off the sheets I made that morning and was “re-making the bed” , I asked her what she was doing and which I semi-ignored. I texted my man to let him know what I think I heard but don’t jump when you get home let’s talk first. He was pissed. 
He gets home from work, goes to his closet, turns to me and goes “you were right”. All his work clothes were hung up!!!!! Which means she WENT THROUGH OUR DIRTY LAUNDRY AND FOUND THEM ALLL!!!!!!!! 
she was clearly in our room and tried to hide it and lied to my face about it.. I told him to know bring it up right now, talk to her tomorrow. 
So they talk in the morning she says a few quotable things like “I guess I just need to get used to half loads” I HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF MY MAN FOR 2 1/2 YEARS. and “I’m sorry that a frustrate you guys soooo much” like that the fuck. 
Me and him spent a good time today texting over this as he feels it’s impossible to make me happy in this situation.... it’s like you can’t just say “man up and talk to her!!!” Anymore these days... 
I am not willing to lose the love of my life over this petty shit but he can’t see any of it because it’s his fucking mother.... do I walk away?? Has anyone been in situation like this, i obviously don’t want him to hate her but she has been playing him as a fool his entire life!!
We are planning on moving out ASAP but obviously we aren’t made of money.. we work good jobs and are working our way through school for better jobs. We are really trying but this is putting a major toll on our relationship

Answer

Omg i have seriously contemplated divorce a ton of times because of her. My man is amazing and she is that bad that thoughts of leaving him would cross my mind. I had to start therapy  when i got pregnant because dealing with her was worse. The thing is she lives with us because long story short she is pathetic. This is her second divorce and the ex husband sold the house and she had nowhere to go because she manages money poorly and has never really worked. She made a ton of alimony but it stopped because he temporarily was unemployed. During that time she had zero dollars because she spends money like crazy on stupid shit like 400 face creams, facials etc and decided to buy a cadillac  like a dumbass.So for a few months we paid for her bankrupcy, paid all her necessary bills and she lived with us. He finally started paying her alimony but its like half of what she got originally. Now she has a bankrupcy thats making it harder to get an apartment but she is wanting to live with us forever and I hate her more and more each day. She is lazy af and her shit is all over the place cause she somewhat of a hoarder. We are due in April and she all of a sudden announced she is moving in  April. Im like thats great but she hasnt moved a finger to pack any of her shit and i am pretty sure she never even filled out the application. I was telling my husband its stupid she picked the month im due because we cant really help her. I think she just did that for attention.

Answer

I get why you are frustrated lol just breathe and feel the air. 
Please keep in mind that being a widow must be a difficult adjustment. I think she doesn’t know where her place is right now and maybe fussing around the house is her way to keep sane? 
Maybe you could tell her that you appreciate her and that you know it comes from a good place. MILs love having their ego stroked. You could sit down with her & hubby and write down which tasks are only yours to do, then compromise by giving her a little weekly job like washing his car or something else? Lol hope you get my point!
Try not to let this affect your relationship, I know it’s easier said than done but it’s definitely not hubby’s fault. It is extremely hard for men to man up to their mothers and he seems like he has tried and he is definitely not denying the issue here. I truly believe a little meeting would benefit this current situation. I insist on writing stuff down, so if she steps on boundaries again you can show her the list you all agreed on. Best of luck!

Toxic MIL not letting go?... lol pls help

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