My wife and I went out the other night with our really good friend and his girlfriend. His girlfriend offered to let us crash with them so we stayed at her house. We were all on the bed watching a movie and I fell asleep.

I woke up when I felt someone stroking my back. I assumed it was my wife and kind of snuggled back into it and fell back to sleep.

I woke up a little while later when I felt a hand in my pants groping me really aggressively.

I froze. I opened my eyes and saw that my wife was asleep on the floor next to the bed. I realized it was our guy friend.

I just shut down. He just kept shoving his hand further down. It was like I was outside of my body and I couldn't get the strength to stop it. I think he finally felt me flinch or something because he suddenly pulled his hand out..

I forced myself to go back to sleep and didn't say anything about it in the morning

We are supposed to be going to a festival with them next week for new years. I don't know what to do. I don't want to say anything...but I feel like I should. I guess I'm afraid to let my wife down..we never go out for new years because.of me and she's so excited for this...i dont want to ruin it for her. We are only going because he is paying flr our tickets.

But I feel so gross. I hate this feeling. This always happens. After years of sexual abuse I wish I channeled it into strength and knew how to.fight back. Instead, I just shut down. I always do.

7 years ago I went to a NYE party and woke up with some random guy inside me. Because.of this I stopped going out on new years for 6 years.

And it feels so disgustingly fitting that this happened a week before new years...

*I have gotten out of the trip. We are no longer going