I hate the holidays because 1. They are too stressful and too crowded and 2. I have 3 different sides of my family (my moms, my dads, and my step dads) who dont have anything to do with me and it's a crude reminder that I feel unwanted by everyone. My dad dissapeared from my life and his family has never tried to reach me even though they were encouraged to, my step dads family doesnt just because we dont talk to them anymore but even when we did they never liked me, and my moms family just hates me for no reason and favors my two younger siblings. My family has accused me of "ruining" the last three holidays, Thanksgiving (I locked myself in the bathroom to cry after my step dad made me look stupid in front of my moms entire family) Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> (I was apparently being a bitch) and Christmas (because I'm being a "raging cunt" even though my brother had been really mean to me all day and my mom and little sister have literally been throwing things at my head all day) so what do I do? Because I told my dad this and he basically told me to suck it up and behave better. I'm so tired of all this bullshit so what can I do? I've tried to fake a smile but it never works because honestly I'm not good at covering my emotions so how do I stop ruining holidays?