I’m single and childless and it hurts

I’m 23 and I know some might say that’s too young to want a baby but some people are born to be parents and I feel like I am

It hurts when everyone around me has their babies and their partners and I feel so lonely

My bff has a baby and a guy I’ve been seeing has one too with another woman and today I logged on fb and my ex’s mom announced she was going to be a grandma and it hurts a lot seeing everyone get what I want so bad and I know I shouldn’t compare my life with others but it hurts

I don’t even want a boyfriend I want a baby to love and care and guide through life and teach them love and kindness

The man I’ve seeing has been wanting to make our relationship into a serious one but I have rejected him numerous times bc I told him I can’t bare seeing him raise a baby with another woman And it hurts so much bc I love him and I love us but I know I will never be happy watching him coparent with someone else

I don’t even go over his house anymore bc he has baby stuff there and it leaves a giant hole in my heart knowing he is sharing that experience with someone else.. someone he said he only knew for 2 months.. I’ve known him for a whole year now but haven’t made our relationship serious bc of that

I tell him to find someone else that would be happy to be a step mom bc I can’t do it.. I want my own family.. I don’t want to be just “dad’s girlfriend”

I don’t want him to share his first experiences being a dad with someone else while I stand here on the sidelines wishing I had that with him

I’m just hurting