Can’t sleep

We got our first positive and first pregnancy on October 25 about 3 weeks after I started to bleed and could only see a yolk and a sac. I started bleeding again right before Thanksgiving we had another ultrasound and there was nothing. We never even got a little bean. It was devastating. I just can’t stop thinking about what could of been. My sister in law found out she was pregnant at the same time as me and as much as I am happy for her I can’t help but wonder “why did this happen to me?” I kind of feel bad but I didn’t feel up to celebrating the holidays with family and I just can’t be around her it’s just too triggering for me. On top of this all I find out I have a 9cm cyst on my right ovary and could only get my surgery on Feb 27th. I’m hoping after I recover to try again. For now though I just feel really depressed and have been having some pretty bad insomnia....Praying for you all.