Losing our baby

momma • Angel mama to my son 💗 earth mama to my daughter

We found out at our 20 week scan our baby has a condition that isnt going to allow his lungs to develop. I was given the option to go full term and let him die at birth fully grown or to be induced in the next couple weeks. We chose to be induced in the next 2 weeks. This is the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I feel him move around in me all day everyday and everytime I do I just break down because I know itll be over soon. My poor baby. How do people cope with this? When will I start to feel okay again? I have numerous panic attacks everyday, cant sleep, cant eat. And I feel like the hardest part isnt even over yet. I still have to give birth and say goodbye to him. Our daughter is 2.5 and so excited to be a big sister, shes always kissing my belly, saying I love you to her baby brother, calling herself big sister, etc. How do I explain this to her? When will she stop referencing the baby? Should we let her hold him after he is stillborn? I dont know what to do about any of this and need help. I need people who have gone through this before to talk to so please if you can give any advice, input, or love in the comments it would be greatly appreciated.